Sometimes the pain in people’s lives is so deep, so all pervasive that it can seem overwhelming,

even to the listener. The pain of others can stockpile in our own hearts and leave us in agony. That is unless we find ways to bring perspective. How do you bring perspective?

Someone has said,

1,000 years are like 1 day -- to an adult.

1 day is like 1,000 years -- to a child.

--Perspective!

I have been praying for God’s perspective, God’s heart, ears, and eyes. I want to see what God sees in our world—at least I think I do. I may not be able to bear it, in reality.

One way I’ve found to gain perspective is to spend time in silence and solitude—time NOT doing necessary tasks or even expected tasks, but rather laying everything down and simply listening to God.Once in God’s presence, I figuratively sit with the name of the person in pain on the table in front of me and God. Then I listen to God’s prompting for what to pray for that person. Sometimes it is surprising the prayer God prompts me to pray. One thing I know for sure, my need to suggest to God a way to “fix it” or a specific way God should change her/his thinking has not surfaced in the “listening together” kind of praying. What a relief to realize I don’t need to come up with a way to solve the problem or relieve the pain in her life! I just need to sit quietly before God with her name in front of us.

Sometimes God prompts me to communicate my love and care for her in a more direct way. Sometimes He gives me a Scripture to share with her.
Sometimes He asks me to sit longer, to deepen my care for her before God, to pray for her without telling her I am praying.
Sometimes He asks me to trust God with her, or assures me He will send someone else (not me) into her life to encourage her, to light her pathway in the dark places. I rejoice together with God in this.

Perhaps that is what God meant when he gave me these verses for this school year…and I thought the obvious meaning was all there was…So I say to you, ASK and it will be given to you, SEEK and you will find, KNOCK and the door will be open to you. For everyone who ASKS receives, those who SEEK, find. To those who KNOCK, the door will be opened (Luke 11:9-10).

How do you bring perspective to the pain of others which you carry?

Posted on 03/31/2010 by Bev Hislop

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3 comments (Add your own)

1. grace wrote:: Good thoughts, Bev.

I often gain perspective by reminding myself of truth - who God is, who we are, and who we are in Christ. He loves that person far more than I ever could. He is good and He has their/our best interest in mind. He is doing a good and perfect work and He promises to complete it. After all, we are His workmanship.

As I remember His character and great faithfulness, my sometimes blurry vision is corrected. Pain and suffering is often an instrument for testing and proving our faith, not meant for our destruction. His ways certainly are not our ways, but they are much higher. Our all-wise God is consuming the dross and refining the gold. The Refiner's fire isn't pleasant but it does a perfect work. He bends but never breaks. He does not extinguish the faultering flame of faith. With fresh perspective we can encourage and help others remember, comforting with the comfort we have received, offering hope in spite of the situation.

"For I know the plans that I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans for welfare and not calamity, to give you a future and a hope." (Jer 29:11)
04/19/2010 @ 1:46 PM
2. Rita wrote:: I heard you on Midday Connection today and called my girlfriend who ownsa Christian bookstore in our small town. She is ordering both books for me. I volunteer in a Crisis Pregnancy Center and I feel that my gift isin encouragement. I hope that reading and studying your books will give me the knowledge I need to minister to the women and girls who come to our center. Just reading this blog entry you made and Grace's comment has helped me tremendously to consider God's perspective on the situation (and like you, I don't know that I want to know His perspective). Thank you both for your words.
05/04/2010 @ 11:52 AM
3. Bonnie wrote:: I am so happy to discover this site. I was in the bookstore a few days ago and saw the book, Shepherding Women in Pain. I was drawn to the book & wanted to buy it, but had other purchases to make on a limited budget. This morning I thought I'd check out online reviews of the book, but found this site, which is even better.

The title of this post is a description of my life right now. So very many of the women I know are in such deep pain for a wide variety of reasons. And sometimes I just want to sit and cry. I loved reading your thoughts about simply holding up these women by name before the Lord. I often find my prayers to be just that -- lifting a friend to the Lord, at a loss to know what to say to Him or to her.

Last night I came under a surprise attack by one of the women in my group. Her anger, clearly related to her own pain and insecurities, caught me so off guard that I felt ambushed. Thankfully, the Lord kept me from responding defensively or with anger. I was able to stay calm and try to figure out what exactly she was so angry about (of course, she said she was not angry or upset, but the room was tight with tension). After she exited the room, causing our group discussion to come to a halt, I waited until she ended the phone call she was making, then went up to her and quietly said that I couldn't let things end on such an unsettled note. I asked her if we could go outside and if she could explain why she was so angry with me. It took quite awhile, but I finally came to some understanding of her outburst.

I wish I could end this story by saying that we hugged, cried, and prayed together. That didn't happen, but I do think we made some progress. I came home feeling drained, but thankful (ironically we had just read the verse about not letting the devil get a foothold through anger!). It is only today, after the fact, that I have been emotional and extremely discouraged.

Thank you for this blog. I intend to return often.
07/02/2010 @ 11:22 AM

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