I realized if I told her what to do, she would continue to look to me for the answers to her problems. I wanted to see Janine begin to seek God's leading in her painful situation. The healthy shepherding response sometimes is simply asking good questions. What most of us really need is to have someone help us process our own thoughts and decisions. Here are 10 questions to ask someone who is struggling with what to do:

1. What are you going to do?

2. What are your options?

3. What are the implications of that choice?

4. How will that choice impact you? Impact others?

5. What road blocks do you anticipate? How will you move through them?

6. What resources will you need? Where will your support come from?

7. What do you want your life to be like in five years?

8. How will the choices you are making now bring you the hoped for benefits?

9. What do you think God ants you to do?

10. Where do you feel God is in all this?

These are taken from page 153, Shepherding a Woman's Heart, Beverly White Hislop, Moody Publishers.