A premiere seat in the Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall during a performance of the Oregon Symphony provided a unique perspective. A man sitting with his arms crossed in the back corner of the stage caught my eye. The general stance of most performing musicians is one of alertness–ready to play the next note.

I feel as though I’m on an island way out in the ocean and no one knows I’m there. If they knew, they might try to get to me and help. But two things prevent this.

Her husband was in ICU after a tragic auto accident.  A friend of her husband came in. He and his wife asked a couple of questions then talked incessantly of their relationship with Burney. They somehow felt they needed to “get Judith’s mind off the scary reality” of Burney’s likely death.

Seems such a let-down!” She told me. "January. It can be cold, dreary and disappointing. Family relationships continue to devastate.

On the surface we may all wish for this. However, the reality is that this inability to experience pain is incredibly destructive to one who feels no consequences of harm done to her body. Young Gabby would bite her tongue and fingers until they bled and “looked like hamburger.” She unknowingly tried to destroy her own eyes before the intervention of doctors to sew her eyelids shut and later her parents insisting she wear eye goggles.

Marianne was the adopted adult daughter of a long-standing church family member. Marianne freely described the sorted details of her single life. Without hesitation she told me about the three different men (none of whom she married) who fathered her three children.

Her struggles are on-going and she is beginning to have a strong attachment to me. I’m not sure what I should do. I want to help her, but this is taking more and more of my time.

“Honey, I just got a call from the doctor and she wants me to come in tomorrow for an angiogram.”   Five years prior the doctor suggested we track progress with the possibility of the need for a heart valve repair in the distant future. Apparently “the future” was here.  My husband’s heart valve repair surgery was scheduled for Thanksgiving week.  I recall returning home alone the night before the early morning surgery. As I crawled into bed and looked at the empty pillow nex...

 let her know she is not alone. Carefully consider your body language and the words you speak. She needs compassion, not judgment, as she works through multiple layers of guilt, shame and pain on the pathway to healing.

an emotion rolling over me, literally rendering me unable to function for a moment or sometimes longer.    Imagine a single event dramatically changing your calendar, your checkbook, your friendship network, the contents of your refrigerator, the temperature you set your thermostat, your outlook on your future and your connection with your children.  And that’s not all.   Your appearance may change your emotions, your sleep patterns, your theology, your social statu...

and everything is changed by this event. We are painfully aware that life can never be the same again, that yesterday is over, that relationships once rich have ended. But there is another way to look upon this truth.

We live on opposite sides of the continental USA. Mom has severe dementia and I’m never sure if she will know who I am when I fly in to see her. I thought my visits would be beneficial to her—I so wanted to encourage her and bless her!

of all cultures and social backgrounds is PAIN. What can we do? "SHEPHERDING WOMEN IN PAIN has answers to many of our questions as to what we can do and say to help those in pain.

I have found that personal prayer consulting has been the most effective means for healing.  God is active. We say this often, and then we pray for wisdom for the doctor the plumber or the politician.  I ask and God replies. The prayer time is not Him responding to my demands or questions, but me asking Him what it is He wants me to know about His love for me and how this might relate to my life.  In my personal prayer consulting (I consult God in prayer), I have le...

When I shared an ultrasound image as a ‘baby photo’ it provoked unexpected anger in my new friend. She asked incredulously if I really believed the blur in my print was a baby. I did.

even to the listener. The pain of others can stockpile in our own hearts and leave us in agony. That is unless we find ways to bring perspective. How do you bring perspective?

1,000 years are like 1 day -- to an adult.

1 day is like 1,000 years -- to a child.

 --Perspective!

I have been praying for God’s perspective, God’s heart, ears, and eyes. I want to see what God sees in our world—at least I think I do.

In reality, I may not be able to bear it. (click on title to read more)

people often interrupt to tell her that they have a friend who also had cancer.  The conversation becomes about the friend. Linda (not her real name) leaves feeling no one cares. Linda says she will stop talking about her cancer. It is just too lonely. It hurts too much. (click on title to read more)

Geese looking for their eggs? How could something so detached from my daily life make such a great impact?

Welcome to the Shepherding Women blog! I am so glad you stopped by. I hope this will be only the beginning of a relationship that will continually enrich your personal and ministry life. 

Most of my life has been spent observing and entering into the painful places in the lives of women. The settings vary. The contexts are multi-faceted. It is nearly impossible to travel down the road of life for long without finding someone stopped along the wayside, unable to get up by herself. I have been that woman lying along the wayside, unable to get up. What a gift to have an understanding shepherd stop, reach out an empathetic hand, and give a drink of water. I have also had the incredible privilege of being that shepherd who stops to assist a woman in pain.