Welcome

Welcome to the Shepherding Women blog! I am so glad you stopped by. I hope this will be only the beginning of a relationship that will continually enrich your personal and ministry life.

Most of my life has been spent observing and entering into the painful places in the lives of women. The settings vary. The contexts are multi-faceted. It is nearly impossible to travel down the road of life for long without finding someone stopped along the wayside, unable to get up by herself. I have been that woman lying along the wayside, unable to get up. What a gift to have an understanding shepherd stop, reach out an empathetic hand, and give a drink of water. I have also had the incredible privilege of being that shepherd who stops to assist a woman in pain.

Perhaps you can relate to my occasional feeling of wanting to look the other way. If I stopped, what would I say? What would I do? The fear of not knowing propels you to walk on the other side and ignore the woman in pain. You feel badly about it, but neither do you want to make things worse by saying or doing the “wrong” thing.

We are not alone in those feelings. A recent email from a woman in ministry said, “I have felt a strong need to have a resource for women in pain. Perhaps one book for each issue that sort of encapsulates the issue and that would serve as a primary resource for someone experiencing it or trying to help a person experiencing it.  Not that I think a book solves everything, but perhaps it could help the person to feel less lost in a new situation.” I smiled as I read her email because I was able to tell her how many other men and women have expressed a similar need and that Shepherding Women in Pain is a book written specifically to meet this need.

This web site takes it a step further. Our intent is to provide resources and insights on a weekly basis for men and women—pastors, church leaders, directors of women’s ministries, para-church and non-profit leaders, counselors, co-workers, neighbors, friends and family—anyone who shepherds or counsels women in pain We will post a new blog every Tuesday—so be sure to check come back each week! In the next few months, excerpts from Shepherding Women in Pain will be posted along with other resources and links.

If you resonate with what Dennis Friesen, a founding pastor of Grace Community Church, wrote in the following forward to Shepherding Women in Pain, then you know you found a resource that will have life-changing impact for you and the women in your circle of influence.

Pain has few boundaries – it barges in uninvited at every age and stage of life – both inside and outside our faith communities. Jesus followers often come through the more visible and common forms of suffering with the much-valued support of Scripture, the Holy Spirit and caring people.

But sadly, deeper emotional and relational scars are often hidden from the eyes of even family and friends. They can be chronic, isolating, shame-based and hope-depleting. Regrettably, many pastoral teams are not equipped to shepherd people through these kinds of pain very effectively. They pray and give their best – but often are tapped out by the sheer variety, complexity and volume of pain.

Bev Hislop has given us a pastoral care gift that has the potential to change that paradigm. I really could have used this resource when I began my “trial and error” counseling/care approach. But it is never too late to learn – even for a pastoral veteran. I witnessed the formation of this equipping model and in the first six months, saw my pastoral care load decrease.

Bev’s shepherding model has been gestating much of her adult life. She has listened, learned and ministered to untold numbers of women in pain - as a pastor’s wife, as a pastor to women and as a seminary professor. She has also selected some seasoned “experts” to address significant subjects. Their experience and expertise, as devoted Jesus followers and care-givers, will inform, sober, counsel and inspire you.
If you need additional reasons for reading this book consider these:

  • Most male pastors are not equipped to be the primary processors of emotional pain for women. 
  • The gap between what pastors and professional care-givers can provide often leaves people in limbo. Neither one has the time to track them once they leave our offices. 
  • Pain that is not processed well, builds up scar tissue and usually surfaces in unexpected ways. Have you ever wondered why some “mature” believers behave the way they do? Sometimes the cause may be more related to suffering, than sin. 
  • Being more informed about pain can produce greater compassion for people as well as heightened authenticity and relevance in public ministries. 

Pastors and leaders, please become familiar with this resource. The potential “pay off” in terms of emotional and spiritual health is immeasurable. Refer to it for invaluable insights. And if you want to extend God’s grace more effectively, prayerfully place this book in the hands of a few women who, along with you, can become a catalyst for creating a new culture and a safe place for people to heal, as they follow Jesus.


I’d love to hear more of your journey in shepherding women. Your anxieties? Fears? Joys? Discoveries?

Hope-filled,
Bev



Posted on 01/19/2010 by Holly Kisly

4 comments (Add your own)

1. Carol Calenberg wrote:
Hi, Bev--I was just informed about your books and ministry today by a mutual friend. I am a healing prayer counselor out of my home and very interested to intersect with others in this ministry. My husband has taught adjunct at Western and is currently helping with the online courses so we are very familiar with the school and have been on campus many times. I will be reading your books to know your thinking on the subject. I'd love to get together for coffee or a chat sometime to know more about your ministry/teaching. Blessings, Carol Calenberg

09/13/2010 @ 1:56 PM

2. Dan wrote:
Mrs. Hislop.
My name is Dan and when I saw your book, I knew my wife would love it. You see we have been married for 10 years and most of that I have been a horriable husband due to satans grip on my life through pornography. I have hurt her for so long then we were lifted from the pit through Jesus' grace and mercy and our marraige is on the road to honor each other and God. Since this time my wife has been helping some women through some difficult times as far as divorce and spousal abuse. She mentioned to me that she feels that this might be her calling for ministry to help woman get through these times in their life. I know your book would be a great inspiration to her and be a great Christmas present.

I would be honored if I can purchuse a book from you with a word of incouragment to her. I dont know if you will get this but I think it would be great. If your able to do this please contact me at my email at danfarris98@gmail.com . If not Thank you for what you do and God bless you

11/24/2010 @ 11:27 AM

3. Ryan Cohen wrote:
I've experienced a lot of pain in my marriage. A year ago I learned of my husband's involvement with pornography, after the birth of our third child! From that time on I have had a lot of mistrust issues. Could you offer some Godly advise, especially since he is in denial?

04/12/2011 @ 7:33 PM

4. Robin Hawkins wrote:
I found you on Midday connection Nov. 8 2011 and you touched on spiritual abuse.This is not a subject you hear about much and wanted to know if you were going back to Midday anytime soon and if there were any books you could recommend.Thank you so much.

11/18/2011 @ 10:00 AM

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